pavlovdog | Empty handed

So unfortunately , end of the month. And nothing. No hear back from the job yet, but. I’m staying optimistic :)…… :’)…

still trying to quit Taco hell, I’ll have enough money if I just want to quit, I just don’t think I could do it anymore. It’s such hell just waking up knowing I’m gonna work, but, then there’s sometimes where I love it, and never want to leave. Of course it always depends on the shift? What time I work and who’s working. sigh, I don’t know. Things will be better!

on a good note, I absolutely love taking care of myself. I unfortunately started my period the other day, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t have self care , right? Like tonight, I got off work early cause I started puking and not feeling well, did some errands when I got home, bought myself some things! I was hesitant at first, bc money anxiety, but eventually said fuck it. Bought myself some castor oil for my hair, a shampoo/hair scrubber thing? And some face masks! Which smell so good by the way?? I also mayyyyybe bought myself some more SpongeBob stuff, I love it. Took a shower, did my skincare and now watching SpongeBob with my dog :)

My boyfriend is staying over at his friends for tonight so I’m here alone :/. I didn’t want to let him at first, but I caved and said fine. The jealousy and anxiety is getting to me but I’m trying to let it go, I hate when he’s not in my presence and I don’t know what he’s doing, but he’s also human, he can do the things he wants. :’))))) as hard as it is. Maybe I need some alone time. Do I? I used to always want to be alone but I just can’t stand it man.

oh also!!! I started playing overwatch again!! My data finally works and I can play with , uh, ‘minimal’ lag. It’s been super fun! Although my chair is super uncomfortable to sit on for long periods of time, I really want to invest in a new one. Speaking of investing, I ended up ordered myself some things and they came in not long ago! I pierced myself again, got some jewelry, stickers. My boyfriend also got me a new bag as well :))) he’s so sweet. I’m trying to finally hit plat this season on supp. Maybe it will happen. Yk what, it will! I want to start manifesting? I got back into tarot. Sometimes it’s just? So accurate?

anywhooooo, I hope the job hits me up soon, I need to work, but I need my mental health days. I miss my bf :’(