pavlovdog | Tarot

On the way to work right now. I still hate it, but Only ever until I get there, and then I wonder what I hate so much about it. But I know why i do, my bitch ass general manager. Never thought I could hate someone so damn much.

it’s been raining a lot these past days, I hate these gloomy days. I’ve been so incredibly depressed again, now that I stopped taking my medication. And then I wonder why, smh. I have a dr appointment on the 17th I believe? I’m going to see if I can get back on Zoloft. I’m scared to tell her I stopped taking the other medication so I won’t mention it. Maybe I don’t need weight loss medication and just need to have some self fucking control. Which, has gotten a lot better actually. I need to be better and worse at the same time. But /some/ good news at least. I finally heard back from my other job!! He said they won’t open up until the end of the month, but that’s also good. Gives me time to lock in. Which always makes me so excited at the thought, but then when I do it, it’s exhausting and not at all what i imagine it to be. But fuck it man, god why can’t I just say fuck it and do it. I will. I am. I need to keep the “one day or day one” mindset. I’ve been spending a lot of time on Pinterest, creating boards and shit. Practically romanticizing my life. It’s what gets me through it.

im almost at work, i can always write more. The shitty days will be over soon. Yippee!