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pavlovdogSudden urgent care visit and BOOM. Covid. W h y
this is causing me to miss a week of work. A WEEK. Lawd someone send a prayer and maybe $400 cause I can’t do this shit. some very unfortunate shit happended that i cant share. but its kinda just the cherry on top of all this bullshit :] this place is mid, cant really do much but either sleep or be on my phone, which, i feel like ive been lacking on sleep recently, which is fine, i feel the summertime depression creeping in, god i can never be happy can i? whatever. my internet wont work on my pc so i cant even play fucking overwatch. im lsoing my god damn MINDDDD. its not worth getting some wifi for the house though, im trying not to count on staying here very long. i mean, i could always just switch it over to my name when i move? but the people im living with; they dont have jobs, i would be the one paying it. no way in hell am i going to let them rack up the bill just to pay it all my self? fuck that.
btw i think ive made up my mind and im just gonna move to the city. me and my bf were also talking about moving to tulsa? maybe a good idea, i mean, ive never been there, cant be horrible...right? like ive said before and ill say again, where im at has nothing to offer me. nothing at all. its boring, nothing to do. expensive. all apts around here are $800 a month, and i know what youre thinking, "vi, thats not even that expensive" when youre in oklahoma where the minimum wage is $7.25, yeah it kinda is. need i remind you im making $11 an hour?? FUCK I NEED THIS NEW JOB MAN, but at the same time id feel super bad about leaving my job. god, you know i was talking to dove about this today. why do i go from caring so much to not caring at all. the bpd she says, which checks out but still. i go from caring about everything and whatever anybody has to say , to not giving a shit about anything or anybody. fuck man. these emotions
i need to lock in on my wl. im lacking heavy. funny i have an app in a week n some change and i maybe lost 5 fucking lbs?? even though i eat a max 1200 cals a day?? and then burn almost half?? fuck it, we starve ig. only thing thats ever worked for me, but my bf wont let meeee, like dude i promise i dont need to eat as much as you think. i sometimes feel like i cant fall back into my ed habits after i started zoloft?? i stg i stopped caring abt my weight since then. which was 2 years ago. ???? makes no sense but fuck it ig. lets just do what works.
this is causing me to miss a week of work. A WEEK. Lawd someone send a prayer and maybe $400 cause I can’t do this shit. some very unfortunate shit happended that i cant share. but its kinda just the cherry on top of all this bullshit :] this place is mid, cant really do much but either sleep or be on my phone, which, i feel like ive been lacking on sleep recently, which is fine, i feel the summertime depression creeping in, god i can never be happy can i? whatever. my internet wont work on my pc so i cant even play fucking overwatch. im lsoing my god damn MINDDDD. its not worth getting some wifi for the house though, im trying not to count on staying here very long. i mean, i could always just switch it over to my name when i move? but the people im living with; they dont have jobs, i would be the one paying it. no way in hell am i going to let them rack up the bill just to pay it all my self? fuck that.
btw i think ive made up my mind and im just gonna move to the city. me and my bf were also talking about moving to tulsa? maybe a good idea, i mean, ive never been there, cant be horrible...right? like ive said before and ill say again, where im at has nothing to offer me. nothing at all. its boring, nothing to do. expensive. all apts around here are $800 a month, and i know what youre thinking, "vi, thats not even that expensive" when youre in oklahoma where the minimum wage is $7.25, yeah it kinda is. need i remind you im making $11 an hour?? FUCK I NEED THIS NEW JOB MAN, but at the same time id feel super bad about leaving my job. god, you know i was talking to dove about this today. why do i go from caring so much to not caring at all. the bpd she says, which checks out but still. i go from caring about everything and whatever anybody has to say , to not giving a shit about anything or anybody. fuck man. these emotions
i need to lock in on my wl. im lacking heavy. funny i have an app in a week n some change and i maybe lost 5 fucking lbs?? even though i eat a max 1200 cals a day?? and then burn almost half?? fuck it, we starve ig. only thing thats ever worked for me, but my bf wont let meeee, like dude i promise i dont need to eat as much as you think. i sometimes feel like i cant fall back into my ed habits after i started zoloft?? i stg i stopped caring abt my weight since then. which was 2 years ago. ???? makes no sense but fuck it ig. lets just do what works.
